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  • Project: Metalbeast

    Project: Metalbeast

    ★★★½

    Birth Year Challenge 15/22

    “Let’s go kill this bastard before he kills us!”

    What a title: Project Metalbeast. Sounds like a 80’s heavy metal band doesn’t it? And that cover art, whoa. That’s the sort of poster I’d want hanging on my wall. So with those two important aspects heavily factoring into my need to see this, did it live up to my expectations? I’d say it exceeded them.

    The first thing you’ll notice is the pacing. And by that…

  • The Granny

    The Granny

    ★★★½

    Birth Year Challenge 14/22

    “You were a load I should have swallowed!”

    Granny (Stella Stevens - The Poseidon Adventure) can’t stand her family, she knows they can’t wait for her to croak so they can steal her fortune. They don’t hide their distain for her much, bringing “shitty passive-aggressive family get together” to a whole new level. When she finally bites the big one, her family’s ecstatic, thinking they’re finally free of her. What they don’t know is she downed…

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  • The Hurricane Heist

    The Hurricane Heist

    ★★★½

    How am I supposed to hate a movie where our main character uses the hurricane to turn a hubcap into a killer frisbee, impaling a dude through the chest?

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★★

    “Bad luck isn't brought by broken mirrors, but by broken minds.”

    Dario Argento’s fever dream.

    A fantastical acid trip into a world of endless hallways, colors bleeding through the scenery, mysterious sounds echoing just on the other side of a door, a soundtrack of creepy ~ la la las~, and style, style, style.

    It might be too soon to say this, but this is Peak Argento.

    The atmosphere is so incredibly overbearing, you’re never in a state of relaxation. You…