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  • Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

    Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

    ★★½

    You know what you're in for when you fork over your hard-earned to see a sequel to a critically panned, but ultimately successful, violent, odd couple, action-comedy. More of the same.

    And Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard is exactly that. Except it has way more of Salma Hayek as Darius Kincaid's foul-mouthed, con-artist wife, Sonia - which is a good thing. And way more laughs in the interactions between the three leads, who are all more than capable and have good comic…

  • The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

    The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

    ★★

    If I wanted to watch a police procedural thriller masquerading as a horror movie, I'd have gone to see Spiral again!

    Slightly more seriously, The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do it is not a bad film. There are too many well composed shots and the lighting is excellent throughout (take a bow, Michael Burgess). But why would you water down what was an incredibly successful formula in the hands of James Wan? Two genuinely scary, haunted house films give…

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  • The Vigil

    The Vigil

    ★½

    Film #31 in The Countdown Podcast 2021 Scavenger Hunt. A movie from Blumhouse studios.

    It's always great to see a different take on horror and I'm all for better representation in horror specifically and cinema more generally, but bottom line, boring is boring.

    1.5 Scares That Don't Land for The Vigil.

  • Nobody

    Nobody

    ★★★★

    Yep. Just as awesome the second time.

    4 Televisions Turned Up Too Loudly for Nobody.

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  • Crawl

    Crawl

    ★★

    Things I learned while watching Crawl:

    - Florida state police officers do not bother pursuing people who directly and brazenly ignore their explicit orders.
    - Basements below ground level do not flood until it is narratively necessary for them to do so.
    - Alligators are all at least 9 feet long.
    - If any alligators smaller than 9 feet long do exist, they most certainly do not venture into basements where their smaller size would enable them to crawl under…

  • Tenet

    Tenet

    ★★★★½

    NO SPOILERS AT ALL BELOW

    For several months now, Tenet has been proclaimed as the film which might just save the movie theatre industry. A 200 million dollar, original property blockbuster, written and directed by one of the most reliable names in Hollywood, Christopher Nolan. The hopes were that Nolan might deliver a film that was so incredible – so quintessential – to see on the big screen that it would tempt people from their homes, with their huge televisions…