Sigh. Yep, looks like it's time to be THAT person ...

Woven from a tapestry of striking imagery, jarring editing, and the talents of the incredible Tilda Swinton, Suspiria had the potential to be something truly amazing.

Unfortunately, its incredibly drawn out narrative and enthusiastic directorial efforts to make the film more than "just" a powerful horror remake reduce the effect of Suspiria's technical achievements, rendering it a chore to wade through.

2 Mothers Not Created Equal for Suspiria.