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  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    ★★★★½

    you: the hellboy movies are great monster movies
    me, an intellectual: the hellboy movies are the greatest romances of our time

  • Dunkirk

    Dunkirk

    ★★★★½

    Got almost all the way under my skin and into my bone marrow. As a secondary note, I've never enjoyed just looking at something than I have at this movie.

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  • Beauty and the Beast

    Beauty and the Beast

    ★★

    I just want to stress that the FINAL SHOT of this movie is of Stanley Tucci smiling like a maniac in order to show off his new false teeth because he became a piano under the curse and all of his keys fell out and so he regenerated as a human WITHOUT ANY TEETH.

  • Tour De Pharmacy

    Tour De Pharmacy

    ★★★★

    These movies are so dumb. I want fifty of them.