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  • Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

    Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

    Painfully bad. I write this review while the film is still playing.

  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The IMAX is simply too loud for me. Next time it’s earplugs or a quieter place. If I keep going to IMAX it will soon be the only place I can go. 

    Infinity is hyperbole, but it is DAMN long. Hellishly long. Neck-crick, numb-butt, Lord of the Rings, 8-year-old-toilet-stop long. I told him just to sip the water, but what could he really have done after all that popcorn. 

    Marvel managed to cram (nearly) everyone into the film. No, not…

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  • Top Gun

    Top Gun

    ★★★★★

    I've bought the DVD, the soundtrack, watched the making of and dreamed about Kelly McGillis more than one time. The film that did more for Air Force enlistments than anything else will do the same for you.

    If you've ever been holding on too tight with a bunch of oiled up dudes then you will lose your edge over Top Gun again and again.

  • Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

    Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

    ★★½

    What did I learn from Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol? Let me see. There are a lot of BMWs in Dubai and Mumbai (coincidence?) and they have safety features you can trust, and cool start controls, and cool wheels and cool grill-lights, what? I haven't seen such gross product placement in a while. Oh yeah, and iPhones. iPhones are cool, iPads are cool, apparently USB cables are cool; but iPhones in rubberised cases? I guess they might knock them around…