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  • My Samurai

    My Samurai

    ★★½

    There was not a single samurai.

  • Heartless

    Heartless

    Mädchen Amick (aka my future ex-wife) gets a heart transplant but immediately starts having visions of her donor’s previous life – most of these visions are softcore sex scenes with that stupid 90’s fuck music. Then she starts living out the dead donor lady’s life, moving in on her rich widower husband.

    If this was your introduction to Louise Fletcher you would probably scoff that she won an Oscar. It’s almost amazing how bad she is in this - and everyone else really. Also Bo Svenson is a cop who kinda just hangs around not doing much of anything.

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  • Life During Wartime

    Life During Wartime

    ★★★★

    Whenever I laugh during a Todd Solondz film, it reminds me that I am a bad person with no morals.

  • Tabloid

    Tabloid

    ★★★★

    [✓] a beauty queen
    [✓] Mormons
    [✓] kink
    [✓] cloning
    [✓] nun disguises
    [✓] alleged rape of a man by a woman
    [ _ ] me having any clue what actually happened

    I need to watch more Errol Morris documentaries.