The Thing

The Thing ★★★★★

Holy Shit! The practical effects in this film are freakin' awesome. The Thing looks twisted as fuck. It is one seriously ugly creature, melted and melded together into slimy contortions of hybrid men, dogs, and tentacles (amongst god knows what else).

But what is even scarier is that when it doesn't look like that weird old creepy guy in the park after having been run over by a truck full of pigs on the way to a slaughterhouse, The Thing looks extremely normal. In fact, it can take over someone's body and imitate them perfectly.

So, there is this bunch of dudes stranded in a research outpost in the Antarctic. Their party has been gate crashed by this fucked up imposter monster from outer space. And The Thing could be literally any member of their weary band of snow sniffers. There is no way to know until it either absorbs them into its waxworks of horrors or feels threatened and reveals itself in all of its hideous glory. Who the heck can you trust in that nightmare scenario?

Its like everybody's face has been replaced by a big pair of butt cheeks and you can no longer work out which dude is the true asshole. Extreme paranoia ensues and it is absolutely suffocating. And in the cramped confines of their outpost, shut in by a blizzard, it is down right claustrophobic.

Further to that it is all incredibly existential. If The Thing can imitate a person perfectly, how do you know it hasn't already incorporated you via an involuntary merger, and the only reason you currently experience a continuum of consciousness is because it has so perfectly replicated all your neurons and everything so that there has been no subjective perception of change. Except beneath the surface, the shape-shifting little bastard is now calling the shots!

Anyway, the moral of the story is don't be trusting no motherfucker. Not your wife, not your family, not your friends, and not even yourself.

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