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  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show

    The Rocky Horror Picture Show

    ★★★★★

    Teens tried to label this movie as transphobic a couple years back and look, I’m not having it. Is it wildly outdated by today’s standards? Yes, obviously, but of course it is. It wasn’t made to win GLAAD awards, it was made by trashy gay theatre stoners back when being any of those things was enough to get disowned. RHPS launched millions of little queers and kinksters out of the closet. The cultural impact is impossible to imagine to someone…

  • Miss Congeniality

    Miss Congeniality

    ★★

    Everyone who still loves this movie has not seen it in a decade. Sandra Bullock is obviously perfect but it’s so sexist it’s almost a parody of itself? My suggestion: Watch Princess Diaries and then watch The Heat instead. Same vibe, way better experience

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  • Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

    Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    There's a fight scene in this movie that is so good, the entire group of 8 people I saw this with were shaking in their chairs, mouths agape, silently screaming in ecstatic glee. When I later learned that John Wick's Chad Stahelski helped put the action together, it made perfect sense. I have never seen a movie that made me feel more powerful. Walking out of it, I could have punched a car into space. If I hadn't quit drinking…

  • Sonic the Hedgehog

    Sonic the Hedgehog

    ★★★

    The weirdest part about this movie is that the redesign of Sonic *completely* works. What could’ve been a truly horrible Cats-esque visual nightmare designed for ironic delight is, via some long-suffering animators and modelers, perfectly fine.

    And it is a perfectly fine movie. It’s predictable and inoffensive, with moments of both groanworthy attempts at emotional stakes and genuinely hilarious jokes. There are so, so many jokes in this movie. They’re shoved in at every corner, many clearly ADR’d in at…