#realityhigh ★½

It's not that this movie is merely bad; it's how bizarre it is. Reality High is compulsively watchable, largely on the merits of how many inexplicable scenes it contains. I'm at a loss for words—this feels like a three hour film that was hacked and slashed in the editing bay, leaving only the unintentional surrealism of the following:

- A lengthy explanation of bioluminescence followed by the words, "Dope, huh?"
- A delivery of the line "Let's take a selfie!" in the most droll, monotone voice imaginable. The exclamation point I have included must have been like a silent letter in the script. Additionally, the shot chosen to convey this line involves the actor saying it being filmed from behind—his face is never shown. This was clearly looped in post, although for whom? For those viewers who couldn't figure out what was happening when a bunch of characters gathered together behind a cell phone camera?
- A high school pep rally which contains strobe lights and fog machines, which the principal (played by the under-appreciated John Michael Higgins) was entirely unaware of.
- The class clown being sent to the principal's office during said rally, while the principal was still in the gym. Who was he going to be lectured by?
- Cameos from internet celebrities, in which all of them recite their dialogue in a manner which can only be described as "deeply startled and uncomfortable."
- A middle-aged man following one of the main characters, an internet celebrity herself, acting as her personal assistant, dog sitter, and camera man. He disappears after the first act, and is never referenced again.
- Said internet celebrity sourcing her fans to fund a $5,000 crowdfunding campaign in less than 15 seconds.
- Kate Walsh's character, the director of a pet charity, wearing outfits not seen since a Four Non Blondes concert tour in 1993. Her eccentric fashion choices are only pointed out once.
- Major character development presented through choosing to suspend one's Facebook account in one scene, and later deciding not to in another.
- An elderly woman appearing in two shots of a high school beachside bonfire, never introduced or pointed out.
- Alarmingly frequent product placement for Bob's Big Boy.
- A character who believes that the manager of Bob's Big Boy is obviously named Bob.
- Sudden focus to a tertiary character in the last 15 minutes of the movie, involving scenes which feel like the resolution to a subplot that was never introduced.

I could go on.