Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End ★★★★

"Dying is the day worth living for."

At World's End is riddled with issues. It's bloated, it's overly long, the pace is trifling, the mythos is vexing, and it sometimes feels like you're in a very slowly boiling pot of fat meat.

Well...that's because we kinda are in a very slowly boiling pot. We get all our favourite characters back, we get Gore Verbinski with a budget so big you could actually buy most of the Caribbean with it, we get plenty of wonderful production design to chew on, and we get one heck of an epic journey in what is really the last Pirates film.

That's not all though. There are sins abound, but At World's End reaches it's peak in what is undoubtably one of the most extravagant and astounding climaxes of all time. Two ships blast at each other while they circle an enormous whirlpool. Heroes and villains battle atop the masts as the camera swoops and swirls. Rain hammers down as lovers are married and wood blasts into the air. The sea slams into the sides of vessels and everything erupts as our couple are wedded, clashing swords together as they make their vows, kissing as everything just fucking explodes and booms around them. The icing on the cake is the death of our big 'villain', as we literally get the most ridiculously grand slow motion death of all time that is followed up by Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom post-orgasm on a beach...and then Jack Sparrow and Gibbs bro-first and they sail to the sunset.

As said, problems are all over the place. But this mess is a jem only 2007 could bestow upon us. We get it all and a bag of extremely salty potato chips. At World's End is a fun ride, but one that's bumpy and goes on a little too long. You exit the funfair with a sore bottom and a little bit of a headache, but you're grinning and chuckling and having a gay ol' time so who the hell cares?

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