Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spider-Man: Homecoming ★★★

"Makes you wonder why you waited so long for something so disappointing."

It's good. It's not amazing, it's not spectacular, and it ain't ultimate (if ya know what I mean). Spider-Man: Homecoming is just that, it's good. It's like giving lukewarm porridge to a moderately hungry infant, we're gonna eat it, and it's gonna be fine.

The whole affair is kinda plain. The action is fine, if not slightly disinteresting. The thrills are sparing, but effective. The story is a little been-there, but not quite done-that. As a matter of fact, the one shining and glorious diamond here is Michael Keaton as The Vulture.

Weirdly, the movie seems to know it yet forget it. We open with him, the most sympathetic and relatable of MCU villains, well, ever. Then, we forget him for a while. 30 minutes later, he's back, and he rocks. But, then he's gone for a while until the third act. Keaton is licking his lips in the role and we're begging for more, but the film seems to think we want more er, not slapstick no. More of Tom Holland saying he'll do something, having to be Spider-Man, rinse and repeat. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just that unlike Raimi's Spider-Man 2, Peter Parker's balance of two lives here is just, disinteresting.

The humour is also quite the misfire. I still laugh at the quirks of the 00's trilogy, and I can have an absolute unintentional hoot with The Amazing Spider-Man 2, anytime. Here, I'm left laughing at one joke that's kind of a stab at Batman, and that's it. Everything else misses like a Stormtrooper at Cloud City.

I feel, let down. It lacks imagination, spectacle, a big heart, and a proper dilemma. Everything feels watered down, like it wants to skip to the next thing or keep you smiling for two hours, but I'm not really smiling. Keaton breathes fantastic life into it, but sadly I won't catch this one again for a while if I can help it.

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