Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion

Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion ★★★★★

If there’s one thing I came to learn in high school, it’s that living as yourself sucks ass. We never asked for these lives, these bodies, these souls, but we’re expected to make them into people worth being. If we want to mean anything, we have to make them into people worth being. And that’s hard and it hurts and it’s frustrating. But maybe it’s worth it. If Neon Genesis Evangelion is anything to go by, Hideaki Anno certainly seems to think so, and that’s something I find comfort in.

To be completely honest, it’s a little embarrassing how much I’ve leaned on this robot show the past few months. I’ve never really liked the way I am: the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I get mildly annoyed when someone says ‘mayhaps’ instead of ‘mayhap’, but, as it turns out, it’s difficult to confront yourself about yourself. Everything I hate is everything I am, and it’s hard to break free from that. So I’d always just ignored it, blocking out the world, wishing myself away. I don’t know when it was that I realised I actually had to stop being a dumb little stupid dumb dummy dumb dumb baby boy and take action for myself, but I think it was definitely spurred on by Evangelion. I see a lot of myself in the characters, how they run from themselves. I find connection through their depth, how I’m shown the stems of their issues and the barriers preventing their resolution. I find wisdom in the way Anno portrays all of this, the conclusions it seems he wants me to draw from it. In a weird way, these characters have given me a better perspective on myself. It feels very likely I’ll be leaning on them forever—not as a distraction, but a direction to move forward.

I know I can’t magically become a functioning person, and I know the anxieties and insecurities that currently define me won’t just disappear, but I think there’s more I can be. Maybe anywhere really can be paradise and maybe it’ll take a while. But I think I’ll keep trying. I think I can still move forward, and I think I’ll do so with the help of this scary robot anime. The movie is fucking sick by the way but make sure to watch the show beforehand lol.

[Sorry this review(?) derailed into vague rambling, I can’t help being funky and cool.]

K liked these reviews