Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1-12 ★★★★

The best lines from every episode

1. And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house.

2. Then a knock on the door, the gun's in my hand
He opens the door, I can't believe it's a man
(Man… man… man…)

3. Chuck screamed out, "WE'RE IN LOVE!"
Cathy says, "Love my ass!"
Rufus said they're getting married, then I shoot one in the air!

4. Then she cries out, "Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax." And I said, "Cool, climax. Just let go of my leg!"

5. I say "babe...", she said, "Shut up, Don't you say a word"

6. And then I looked back up at him and said, "Wait, you're that damn police!"
Then she screams, "Baby, I mean James."

7. I count to three, 'Twan opened the door and it's Rose the nosy neighbor...
Ooh, with a spatula in her hand
Like that's gon' do something against them guns
It's Rosy the nosy...whoo!...Neighbor....

8. She's scared out of her mind
Stuttering and shaking and
Still talking about some pears

9. And then he says "move"
She says "no"
He says "move"
She says "no"
"BITCH MOVE!!!" she moves!

10. He points the gun in his face, the midget says "God I think I just shitted on myself"

11. Then James says, "That's what you call him, that's his name, 'Big Man'?"
Then 'Twan says, "Man is that ya name?" He yells, "Yeah" We laugh, hot mess
Then I say, "Man, why they call you that?" and he says, "Because I'm blessed"

12. You know that crusty wig wearin' ho you was talkin' about?"
Gwen says, "Uh huh"
Cathy says, "Well"
Gwen says, "Well, what?"
Cathy says, "Girl"
Gwen says, "Cathy"
Cathy says, "Gwen, I'm sorry girl, but that ho was me"

13. "I'm a grown-ass woman; I can do whatever the hell I want to do."
"Well, do it, then."
"I'mma do it, then."
"Do it, then."
"I'mma do it, then."
"Go on, look."
"I'mma look."
"And I hope a pigeon fly by here and shit on yo face."

14. Tawn says "do I look like En Vogue? " He says "why? " he says "nigga cause the way you got me holding on"

15. "Yeah I told him to stop, but he just kept yelling out talkinbout 'I'm Rick James bitch'"
Sylvester looks at Tawn, Tawn says "man I was drunk"
Sylvester said "drunk... you was drunk"
Tawn said "man I don't know I was just try'na have a lil fun" "With a whole lotta heat in the trunk
Man I'm disguised, nigga know wonder why yo ass got busted"

16. Then he steps to Tina and says "Tina, you wanna work this out?"
Then Roxanne tongue kisses Tina dead in her mouth and says to Tawn "I'm fucking her now! "

17. "Wha what you just goin let em get away with this shit? "
"What, kissing? Nigga come on... bring ya ass! "
"Shit... fuck that, I'm a go buy me a gun... and I'm a come back here and set this muthafucka off. Yeah bitches, beledat... "
"BRING YA ASS NIGGA! "

18. "Nigga all I was try'na do was make it better you know stop the violence
But who would ever thought the bitch was diking"

19. Then Pimp Lucus says... "I, ah... I ain't goin ever stop p-p-p-p-p... pimpin
P-p-p-pimpin for life
I'm just here with a c-c-c-cousin
Chuuch! chuuch!
Now the only thing a pimp done caught up off in here is the HOL-ly ghost
Now come on Bishop Craig let's go get this mmm... mmm... money
C'mon, shit! Oops..."

(This is my personal all time favorite line)
20. "Pastor say 'Chuck let's meet and our spot, the Holiday Inn"
"And then? " "That's when" "When what? " "AHH, took another shot of that gin"

21. Yeah, yeah well I ain't discussing no bidness especially with mister, LL Fool J sitting here

22. Hold on Pimp got a ph-ph-ph, phone ca-ca-call... hello... hey this bitch... who when and where got what?
The p-p-package, the p-p-package, the p-p-package, the p-p-package...

Kenneth liked this review