Call Me by Your Name

Call Me by Your Name ★★★★★

“to feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste”  

it’s okay to feel. it’s okay to love. i’ve spent my whole life trying to condition myself to not feel, not anything for anyone. i’ve spent my whole life trying to convince myself that love wasn’t, and never could be, real. i read somewhere that love always seemed like a party that i never got an invite to. i never did, but what i realize now that it’s a party i should’ve crashed. i’ve always been afraid to fall in love simply because i didn’t want to fall out of it. i didn’t wanna go through that heartbreak, sorrow and pain that comes along with it. 

what cmbyn shows you is that love, but more importantly, feeling, can be beautiful. perhaps the most beautiful thing in one’s life. and i should NEVER be afraid of it, but rather welcome it with open arms. for hiding my feelings will get me absolutely nowhere, but a place of desolation and sadness, constantly wondering what could’ve been. as marina says “losing you is what i’m afraid of, i need to believe, believe in love” i should be ready for all the hardships and challenges of loving you, even the possibility of losing you, because the joy, affection and most importantly, connection that comes with it make it ALL worth it. i am here. i am ready and on my way to crash a party.