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Still from Joe Dante’s Gremlins (1984)

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Nerve ★★½

WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF BLAND SHIT 101!

Tonight, thanks to a request from a friend at my high school, we have a steamy steak platter with WAY too much seasoning on it, and not enough wine to wash it down. What does that analogy have to do with anything? I don't know, I just wanted to make a funny!

It's called Nerve, it stars Nancy Drew and James Franco's bastard cousin, and it's about an online game where you sign up to complete dares for people to watch on livestreams, in order to gain some cold, hard cash. And of course, the dares get more challenging and life-threatening as you keep playing.

It's an interesting concept that could've made for a great thriller, but instead, it turned into a messy, watered-down PG-13 pile of paper-thin pulp, with your stereotypically annoying teenagers, and weak writing, and crappy music, and visuals that assault your eyes with blue and pink.

And goddamn it, Juliette Lewis, between this and Jem and the Holograms, why do you have to show up in so many crappy teeny-bopper millennial movies!

"Somebody is sending me money!"
"White people problems."

Directing - 5/10
Writing - 4/10
Cast and Characters - 5/10
Production Value - 4/10
Cinematography - 5/10
Pacing - 5/10
Visuals - 4/10
Music - 4/10
Rewatch Value - 2/10
Overall Enjoyment - 5/10

Final Score - 43/100

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