• Who Framed Roger Rabbit

    Who Framed Roger Rabbit

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I wish we still made movies like Who Framed Roger Rabbit where you could take big properties, mesh them together and still have fun. Seeing Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny or Donald Duck and Daffy Duck together is wildly cool and entertaining, but even more so when it’s done with class. The cartoon world interacting with the real world is something to marvel at with how this movie does it. I think it can look a little wonky at times,…

  • WALL·E

    WALL·E

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Such a phenomenal masterpiece. WALL•E is by far my favorite Pixar film to date, which captures a highly detailed animation with so many rich and invigorating characters at a minimalist perspective. The first half hour is something akin to what you’d see be a relatively short film, but soon sparks into a space adventure with maniacal robots, imprisoned humans and wonderful protagonists who don’t even need to speak full sentences.

    There’s a beauty in the noises that the machines make,…

  • Total Recall

    Total Recall

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A very impressive film, working with the magic of both storytelling and practical effects. It’s a shame that these days we don’t see the wildness of bizarre effects that are tangible or the mindfuckery of a story that works out really well in the end. I can’t really say there was anything wrong with this movie other than me wishing there was a little more ambiguity for the ending. With what we really get in this though, it’s certainly a…

  • Hard Rain

    Hard Rain

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Damnit, and here I thought this movie was going to be good but somehow it managed to take such an interesting concept and butchered it so badly. The characters in this movie are just really stupid and I couldn’t find myself to cheer for anyone. The villains are either so incompetently stupid or way too passive. It really just becomes unbearable as it goes on, with each instance of unlikable scene after another.

    Christian Slater was probably the best character…

  • Europa Report

    Europa Report

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This is one of the most boring sci-fi horror movies out there, if not the worst. Genuinely nothing likable about this crap fest, which featured astronauts who have the personality of wet, soggy cardboard who all get orgasmically excited upon discovering algae and micro-bacteria on a foreign moon. From start to finish, the quality is horrendous and the found footage style does not work at all, as we constantly have to shift from shaky camera to glitchy camera to angled…

  • The Kitchen Toto

    The Kitchen Toto

    ★★★

    The Kitchen Toto tells a harsh story of a boy who is conflicted between the Mau Mau Rebels who fight for freedom from the British colony and the British Officer who has taken him in after his father is brutally murdered by extremists. The film had a lot of great moments, especially within the cinematography and characters. With a surreal view of how war can be, it shows that there’s really no purity on either side that goes to the…

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Obi-Wan Kenobi

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Massively disappointed. While I was originally excited for this, those first two premiere episodes killed my excitement. The quality is very cheap, especially because it’s a Disney Plus show with a much lower budget than a movie. I think this definitely could have been executed as a film had they chopped off the unnecessary filler and fat that this show inserts.

    One of my biggest peeves in both shows and movies is when a character is killed and returns back.…

  • Jurassic World Dominion

    Jurassic World Dominion

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Another pretentious blockbuster flop. There hasn’t been a good Jurassic Park movie since the original Jurassic Park that started it all. As expected, this movie was total garbage, especially the plot considering it’s a continuation of the horrendous Fallen Kingdom. Amidst horrible acting and an already done to death storyline, Dominion offers little to no entertainment. Usually I’d say it was great to see Goldblum, Dern and Neill again, but it was embarrassing to see them in this.

    I genuinely…

  • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It’s absolutely shameful where Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has now taken this franchise. Absolutely shameful. From start to finish I wanted to blow my brains out. It’s ridiculous to think that we started off with Jurassic Park creating some incredible horror scenes with dinosaurs brought back from the dead to now marketing them to be lovable, huggable creatures who need to be protected from black market auctions and extinction level events.

    Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard literally did nothing…

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Even though this was a much better direction to take a Jurassic Park sequel, this movie just doesn’t hold a candle to the original, nor is it actually good. I spent the entire film teetering back and forth between leaving this at a three star rating or lowering it at two and a half. I’ve gotta be honest with myself that the only reason I found entertainment in this was for Bryce Dallas Howard running around in a low cut…

  • Jurassic Park III

    Jurassic Park III

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Jurassic Park’s franchise really hit rock bottom when they couldn’t properly follow up the success of it’s first film. With how awful The Lost World was, you’d think that perhaps they’d learn from their mistakes, but with this abysmal treatment to the franchise, it’s managed to only get worse. The CGI is the typical dog shit you’d expect for a third installment, overtaking the practical effects and looking like ass. There’s tons of embarrassing green screen moments and the insulting…

  • The Thing

    The Thing

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Had the pleasure of seeing this on the big screen today, which truly showcased how much of a masterpiece this is. Other than a few nitpicks, I truly have no negative qualms about John Carpenter’s The Thing, which is probably his best work. This movie literally presents the best practical effects I’ve ever seen when it comes to the wild transformations of alien assimilation. The entire tone is great, keeping several men enclosed in a base set in Antarctica.

    Various…