Django Unchained

Django Unchained ★★★★★

95

Tarantino is the Unrivaled Master of Dialogue. Fight me. Here are just a sample of why:

Dr. King Schultz: You sure that's him?
Django: Yeah.
Dr. King Schultz: Positive?
Django: I don't know.
Dr. King Schultz: You don't know if you're positive?
Django: I don't know what 'positive' means.
Dr. King Schultz: It means you're sure.
Django: Yes.
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, what?
Django: Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle.
Django: I'm positive he dead.

Calvin Candie: White cake?
Dr. King Schultz: I don't go in for sweets, thank you.
Calvin Candie: Are you brooding 'bout me getting the best of ya, huh?
Dr. King Schultz: Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.
Calvin Candie: Come again?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas. He wrote "The Three Musketeers." I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Calvin Candie: You doubt he'd approve?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.
Calvin Candie: Soft hearted Frenchy?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas is black.

Calvin Candie: So, bright boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?
Django: Not for top dollar.
Calvin Candie: Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. You see, you want to buy a beat ass nigger from me, those are the beat ass niggers I want to sell, so...
Django: He don't wanna buy the niggers you wanna sell. He wants the nigger you don't wanna sell.
Calvin Candie: Well, I don't sell the niggers I don't wanna sell.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, you won't sell your best. You won't even sell your second best, but your third best? You don't wanna sell either, but if I made you an offer so ridiculous, you'd be forced to consider it?
Dr. King Schultz: Who knows what could happen?
Calvin Candie: And what do you consider "ridiculous?"
Dr. King Schultz: For a truly talented specimen, the right nigger? How much would you say, Django?
Django: ...12,000 dollars.
Calvin Candie: Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention

Dr. King Schultz: Who is your little friend?
Calvin Candie: This is Ben. He's a old Joe that lived around here for a long time. And I do mean a long damn time. Old Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy, till he up and keeled over one day. Old Ben took care of me. Growing up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. I spent my whole life here right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. And seeing them every day, day in day out, I only had one question. Why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now if I was old Ben, I would have cut my daddy's goddamn throat, and it wouldn't have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. But he never did. Why not? You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation about two species. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or other sub-human species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here, you'll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now if I was holding a skull of a... of an Isaac Newton or Galileo, these three dimples would be in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben, and in the skull of old Ben unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility.
Calvin Candie: Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here and I bashed it in your skull, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben.

Big Daddy: [instructing raiding party] Now unless they start shooting first, nobody shoot 'em. That's way too simple for these jokers. We're gonna whoop that nigger lover to death! And I am personally gonna strip and clip that gaboon myself!
Big Daddy: Damn! I can't see fuckin' shit outta this thing.
Unnamed Baghead: We ready or what?
Big Daddy: Naw, hold on, I'm fuckin' with my eye holes.
Big Daddy: Oh. Oh, shit.
Big Daddy: Ah, I just made it worse.
Unnamed Baghead: Who made this goddamn shit?
Other Unnamed Baghead: Willard's wife.
Willard: Well, make your own goddamn mask!
Big Daddy: Look. Nobody's sayin' they don't appreciate what Jenny did.
Unnamed Baghead: Well, if all I had to do was cut a hole in a bag, I coulda cut it better than this!
Other Unnamed Baghead: What about you, Robert? Can you see?
Robert: Not too good. I mean, if I don't move my head I can see you pretty good, more or less. But when I start ridin', the bag's movin' all over, and I - I'm ridin' blind.
Bag Head #2: Shit. I just made mine worse. Anybody bring any extra bags?
Unnamed Baghead: No! Nobody brought an extra bag!

And my personal favorite:
Calvin Candie: Hello. Stephen, my boy!
Stephen: [black house servant exiting the Big House] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, my ass. Who dis nigger up on dat nag?
Calvin Candie: Aw, Stephen, you have nails for breakfast? What's the matter? Why you so ornery? You miss me? Huh?
Stephen: Oh, yes, sir. I miss you like a hawg miss slop. Like a baby miss mammy titty! I miss you like I misses a rock in my shoe! Now, I aks you, who dis nigger on dat nag?
Django: Hey, Snowball. You wanna know my name or the name of my horse, you ask me.
Stephen: Just who the hell you callin' 'Snowball,' hoss boy? I'll snatch yo black ass off dat nag down here in the mud so fast make yo head spin!
Calvin Candie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stephen! Stephen! Let's keep it funny. Django here's a freeman.
Stephen: Dis nigger here?
Calvin Candie: That nigger there. Let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this is a another cheeky black bugger like yourself, Stephen. Stephen, this here is Django. You two oughta hate each other.
Stephen: Calvin, just who the hell is dis nigger you feel's the need to entertain?
Calvin Candie: Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old, decrepit bastard, you are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?
Stephen: Yes, sir. Him I understands, but I don't know why I got to take lip off dis nigger.
Calvin Candie: You don't have to know why. Do you understand?
Stephen: Yes, sir. I understand.
Calvin Candie: Well, good. They're spending the night. Go open the guest bedrooms and get two ready.
Stephen: [mortified] He gawn stay in the Big House?
Calvin Candie: Stephen. He's a slaver. It's different.
Stephen: In the Big House?
Calvin Candie: Well, you got a problem with that?
Stephen: Aw, naw, naw. I ain't got no problem with it. If you ain't got no problem with burnin' the bed, the sheets, the pillowcase, and everything else when this black-ass motherfucker's gone!
Calvin Candie: That is my problem! They are mine to burn! Now your problem right now is making a good impression! And I want you to start solving that problem right now and get them goddamn rooms ready!
Stephen: Yes, sir, Monsieur Candie.
Calvin Candie: Go on, now.
Stephen: Cain't believe you brought a nigger to stay in the Big House. Yo daddy's rollin' over in his goddamn grave, right now. Brought a nigger to stay with us. What kinda shit is that?
Calvin Candie: Man, the lip on him! Whoo! He's getting worse and worse. Now, WHERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER?

But it's not just the dialogue. It's the performances from the actors themselves, who imbue their characters with depth both visually and verbally due to their various differences in mannerisms and personalities, something that can only be seen on screen.

This one is not to be missed

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