Multiplicity ★★★

Michael Keaton makes copies of himself so he can play golf. The clones have sex with his wife, and he never plays a single hole. There's a scene where the "special" Keaton clone eloquently describes losing his virginity, telling the original, "...she touched my peppy", leaving him totally dismayed.

Timelines ignored, I'm convinced the asshole Keaton clone went on to do Pacific Heights (or Beetlejuice), while Betty Crocker Keaton and glue-licking Keaton headlined Mr. Mom and Birdman respectively.

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