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  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049

    ★★½

    "More human than humans."

    Beautiful cinematography and sound design.

    Boring story. Poor pacing. The entire thing is slow and uninteresting.

    If the film were tighter, maybe I'd like it more, but I probably still wouldn't care about the mystery K is trying to solve. Plus, everything is spelled out; there are no ambiguities to ponder.

    It's a beautiful art film, but it's not an entertaining movie.

  • The Last House on the Left

    The Last House on the Left

    ★★½

    "I want to hear you beg for your fucking life."

    That line was in every trailer, and it had me hoping for some good torture scenes. That line creates a promise to the viewer that we will get to hear the guy beg for his life, but the movie breaks that promise. There's no torture. There's no begging.

    Watching the girls be tortured sets the audience up for later, so that it's cathartic to watch the parents get horrible, bloody…

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  • The Thing

    The Thing

    ★★★★★

    This is one of my favorite films ever. It is the perfect blend of sci-fi and horror. The special effects are so well done that even decades later they remain a disturbing sight; modern movies should watch The Thing and weep in shame.

    The characters, the paranoia, the sense of claustrophobic doom, it's all brilliantly done.

    I watched this movie when I was decently young, so it holds a special place in my heart as being one of the few films that ever managed to scare me.

  • Army of Darkness

    Army of Darkness

    ★★★★

    Just found my MGM Region 3 Director's Cut buried in a pile of DVDs. Groovy.

    The movie is 93 minutes long with some alternate takes and the original ending. It's awesome, though I do miss "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."

    Army of Darkness is a ridiculous, campy, over-the-top slapstick comedy in which the goofy Ash manages to make life a lot more difficult for everyone he meets. There really is nothing like a Bruce Campbell one-liner.