Jurassic World Dominion

Jurassic World Dominion ★★

Ultimately forgettable, horridly overlong, and mostly sucks - but it doesn't suck entirely, so mark me down as mildly surprised I guess.

Went into this expecting memes and long smirks as actors deliver stale memes and generally the most drab possible "celebration" of the franchise. And yeah, there was a lot of that, but it wasn't as bad as No Way Home and even threatened at multiple points to deliver on the promise of an entertaining movie.

There's a lot to dislike to be honest. More than I really care to get into. Not worth putting down the laundry list of cons I have.

But, if I had to encapsulate what I disliked most about this, I'd have to say this:

There is a moment somewhere between the 15m-135m mark where someone (I forget who. I saw this movie less than a day ago as I start writing this and already I've forgotten) cracks a joke that you'd have to be into Jurassic Park memes on Reddit or something to understand and then there is this weird silence where they put a space for the audience to laugh. It sucks.

So maybe this is just how movies are now. Whatever.



TL;DR:

Has some fun parts! Def the best of the new trilogy.

I don't know why in any scenario they would decide to make this 2.5hrs. Terrible move. I have no idea.




Laundry List That I Said I Wouldn't Put On Here:

Everyone is too sexy. Why does everyone have to be the most attractive person and also be an action star.

Comes tantalizingly close to good with that Malta sequence but the scenes in the Dolamites don't really follow that thread and it feels a little wasted.

Nothing ruins flow like EIGHT PROTAGONISTS.

Jurassic Park should never have been turned into a franchise. Bad move overall. You know why the first one rules? Spielberg on top of his game with a solid screenplay powered by Michael Crichton.

Completely shafts dinosaurs. These aren't forces of nature to be survived, they're CGI baddies for everyone to have an Avengers style team-up on.

The way the movie treated DBH makes me sad in ways I can't fully articulate and/or want to mark down publicly without thinking through. Needless to say I find how she was directed a bit.....bothersome?

Is this a prequel to Dinotopia or Gattaca?

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