Rain Man ★★★★½

God-DAMN it Cruise! You had a golden ticket! You had a golden chance to make your way! And you fucked it up! YOU FUCKED IT UP! You could have been the next Redford but instead you decided you were going to devote your life to believing in an evil space overlord that trapped a bunch of alien souls in a prehistoric volcano. And thetans. Next thing you know, you're jumping up and down on the Oprah show, denouncing the entire mental health profession. Now you're a one-man definition of irony. Good job there Maverick!