Godzilla: King of the Monsters ★★

Oh my God-zilla

Imagine how smug the writers must have felt when they wrote this line and decided to insert it into the movie. Uncannily, the mechanics of it felt like Transformers reincarnated, in this case just replacing the robots with kaiju monsters, only slightly more watchable and incredibly wet. Human characters present themselves merely as pawns in the grand scheme of things, and because of that, they are no less than explanatory contrivances that are dreary, insubstantial and soporific meanwhile the titanic behemoths get to bare open their fangs. I can’t deny the epic spectacle in its size and proportion, but why cheering for something when it hardly has a soul considering the cataclysmic mayhem amounts to almost nothing and pretty much anchored by superficial emotions? King of the Monsters is nothing more than an old generic machine, wobblingly brought back to existence by the visuals of hysteric commotion together with the blares of rowdy pandemonium. Some might revel in it, but I was simply too exhausted to care.