The Predator ★★

Fuck me in the face with an aardvark!

An incoherent throwback of retro-80s alienating hodgepodge with a spineless structure, CGI splatterfest adding Shane Black's overly self-indulging banters which might just never be enough to quench the thirsts for die hard gore-hounds of these high-tech beasts. The Predator does nothing in particular to justify its malicious presence other than being a chintzy exploitative muddle. I told myself to leave my brain at home and therefore this scruffy second-rate brute did indeed occasionally manage to fire up a few good old silliness. The final product is erratically overdosed on a choppy visual sense and puckish humor that sadly detracts most of the tensions needed; whereas characters are soullessly plastic and lip-smacking their way through by producing numerous mishandled goofiness. Out-of-place comedic conversations become so excessive they tactlessly dilute and distort the film’s ongoing motion during the nihilistic manhunt. Why trying so hard and bring in those big predatory dogs for what when they are completely toothless? The joy-ride was supposed to be driven home by its grand energy-fueled tank of talented performers as each person has their own wits but then get squandered like some hissing sizzles. What a wasted opportunity for this to be one hell of an action bangerz. What a waste!

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