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  • Under the Silver Lake

    Under the Silver Lake

    ★★½

    like... i know we all want to fuck andrew garfield... but that garage band boner of a boy looked like he reeked of skunk before that skunk even did what she had to do... that should be andrew in the poster... rinsing off... discussing 🤢

  • Vox Lux

    Vox Lux

    ★★★★★

    EVERYONE AFRAID TO GIVE THIS POP TERRORISM MASTERPIECE FIVE STARS IS A COWARD. VOX LUX IS THE BEST FILM OF THE YEAR AND NATALIE PORTMAN'S AUTOTUNED VOICE WILL SNATCH THE GRAMMY FROM BRADLEY COOPER'S ACHY BREAKY HANDS!

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  • Dunkirk

    Dunkirk

    ★★★★

    tom hardy: *mumbles*
    fionn whitehead: *mumbles*
    harry styles: *mumbles*
    cillian murphy: *mumbles in coward*
    kenneth branagh: *mumbles slightly less*
    mark rylance: *mumbles with an oscar*
    hans zimmer: TICK TOCK MOTHERFUCKER

  • A Star Is Born

    A Star Is Born

    ★★★★

    "and the oscar goes to...."
    *opens envelope*
    "that rah rah bitch"