Kent M. Beeson

Kent M. Beeson


Tubi is my dirtbag Criterion Channel.
Writing about film, music, rpgs, and whatever else at

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Pinned reviews

  • Godzilla



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    (Written on 8/11/2017 for the Muriels Hall of Fame and published here.)

    As a response to the national tragedies of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, perhaps it’s not surprising that, unlike the countless sequels, remakes, cartoons and toys that came after, Ishiro Honda’s Godzilla is… not a lot of fun. From the perspective of an American 2017 viewer, raised in the shadow of blockbuster spectacles, it does everything wrong. There are characters — the professor who wants to study the beast; his…

  • All That Heaven Allows

    All That Heaven Allows


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Here's a little something I wrote up for the Muriels Hall of Fame:

    “There is so much to adore about All That Heaven Allows, Douglas Sirk’s 1955 tale of a love affair between a socialite (Jane Wyman) and younger gardener (Rock Hudson). The acting is top-notch: Wyman leads us through Cary’s conflicts and confusion with her face alone, while Hudson’s soft-spoken and tamped-down performance is, in the context of a 50s melodrama, practically Bressonian. The crazy-artificial sets, particularly Cary’s house,…

Recent reviews

  • Body Double

    Body Double


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I always assumed Mission: Impossible was the first time De Palma used the rubber face gag. I was wrong.

  • Streets of Fire

    Streets of Fire


    Ridiculous this was a flop, as, at heart, it's just a big crowdpleaser, not so different than Star Wars, or like a lighter version of Escape from New York. Great music (RIP Jim Steinman), stylish as hell, a young Willem Dafoe who looks like a demonic Gelfling turned to flesh... what's not to like? If Michael Paré and Rick Moranis don't seem quite up to the task, well, this is a movie where motorcycles blow up when shot, so consider it even.

Popular reviews

  • Beasts of the Southern Wild

    Beasts of the Southern Wild


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Hey girl. Sorry you're too young and too small to do anything about global warming, your poverty, your father's horrendous parenting style, your missing mom, your terrible schooling, your community's penchant for alcoholism and general unwindulaxing, and being inculcated with values that emphasize the masculine ("beast it") to the detriment of the feminine ("don't be a pussy"). Oh yeah, and your father dying.

    But hey! You stood up to some imaginary monster pigs, so good for you.

  • Me and Orson Welles

    Me and Orson Welles

    BOYHOOD took twelve years to make, but this took twelve years to watch.