Favorite films

  • Revolutionary Girl Utena
  • Seed of Chucky
  • On Your Mark
  • Resident Evil: Afterlife

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  • Elvis

    ★★★½

  • The Naked Kiss

    ★★★★

  • Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

    ★★★½

  • The Changeling

    ★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

    Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

    ★★★½

    So sue me, I love watching a crew of storyboarders go wild on some absurd, cartoonish insanity.

    And, well, the mode of a movie does keep the dumb, asinine nonsense down to a tasteful minimum. Like, the series had a lot going for it - fun energy, skilled animation, designs that actually differentiated the turtles beyond their bandana color - but it was still an 80% episodic, 20% serialized action series without a strong enough dramatic throughline to knit it…

  • Nope

    Nope

    ★★★★½

    There's an image halfway in that had me terrified to the point of sincerely fearing for my safety. Like to the point of closing my eyes because my brain was instinctively prioritizing my own safety over my interest in the onscreen image. Which is, to use an infuriating critical colloquialism, "the point". So, props Jordan, for making my body instill the theme of your damn movie in me.

    And listen, if my body is never still cause it's too busy reacting, in nervousness or enthusiasm, to what's onscreen, you're working some damn good magic.

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  • WandaVision

    WandaVision

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Wow, they really made this the most toxically misogynistic take on grief they could muster, didn't they?

    Down to hysterical woman poisons everyone around her with her grief, is driven crazy by red magic, and tucks her fucking kids into bed telling them how much she loves them before she MURDERS THEM. Like, how is that NOT the most horrifying take on traumatic womanhood that Marvel could've mustered?

    Not to mention the hundred hats of plastic, cutesy heteronormative domesticity enforced…

  • Riley's First Date?

    Riley's First Date?

    ★★

    I'm gonna go moan about the isolating social landscape of assumed heterosexuality.

    The worst part of 'Inside Out' was its lazy presumptions on gender identity. That's much the same here, where mom's sexuality is Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" and Dad's sexuality is ACDC. C'mon, mom! Break that crap with some FKA Twigs!