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  • Rampage

    Rampage

    ★½

    Dumb, which I expected.

    Largely not fun, which I didn't expect.

  • Housesitters

    Housesitters

    ★★★

    Do-it-yourself micro-budget horror filmmakers have a license to be weird, but even by this standard, HOUSESITTERS is an odd duck. The plot—a pair of callow millennials (played by co-writers Jamie Jirak and Annie Watkins) take what looks to be a sweet housesitting gig only to find themselves pawns in a ritual enacted by an evil magician—looks standard enough. But I haven't mentioned the sitters' gay porn obsession, or the strains of weed named after Italian crime movies from the '70s,…

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  • Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey

    ★½

    This is pretty awful. It's like watching two hot people with no personalities who can't act pretend to have chemistry with each other, and every so often they have a parody of kinky sex with each other to relieve the monotony.

  • Godzilla

    Godzilla

    ★★★★

    rawr