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  • Citizen Kane

    Citizen Kane

    ★★★½

    I pop my VHS copy of this fîłmé in to my bluray player. My machine starts to break and catch fire, flames are consuming my house. I sit back with my 4 pairs of 3D glasses stacked in front of my eyes. I love cinema I say, pulp fiction is my favorite movie. Fight Club is a close second. The new ghostbusters movie ruined the original I chuckle, as my roof falls, crushing my television set. Somehow this film continues to play, I smile smugly. My film taste is better than anyone else's I concede, and I die.

  • The Love Witch

    The Love Witch

    ★★★½

    Lana Del Rey gives up cocaine for witchcraft