• Strain 100

    Strain 100


    This rating is based on the first 150 seconds of the movie. I feel like that was more than enough to justify half a star.

  • Poor Things

    Poor Things


    I don’t mind Lanthimos veering towards dealing with themes so on-the-nose. Not at all.

  • The Holdovers

    The Holdovers


    You probably didn’t notice this, but this is a very subtly made tribute to 1970s film making

  • To Catch a Killer

    To Catch a Killer


    Somehow, this felt like a really well made student film hommage to Villeneuve’s “Prisoners”. I was surprised to enjoy it as much as I did.

  • Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

    Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

    Bartender? Razzies for EVERYONE!

  • The Family Plan

    The Family Plan


    I like my ”very particular set of skills” movies to not try to be cute comedies.

  • The Marvels

    The Marvels


    Who even cares anymore?

  • Jeepers Creepers: Reborn

    Jeepers Creepers: Reborn


    The worst part about this was the weird ass lighting.

    Everything else was also the worst part about this.

    Yeah. This movie was the worst part about this movie.

  • The Killer

    The Killer


    Peak Fincher. Don’t @ me.

  • Five Nights at Freddy's

    Five Nights at Freddy's

    I only really disliked three things about this.

    The dialogue. The acting. And everything else.

  • The Conference

    The Conference


    Attempt at a fun, satirical, trope-beholden scandi-slasher. Nice editing and cinematography, especially for the budget. The rest? Nah. Hammy acting by a fourth of the cast contrasted by subdued, more realistic acting from the rest, condescendingly flat characters, on-the-nose dialogue, idiotic plot. Did I say nah? It’s a meh.

  • The Creator

    The Creator


    This looks so beautiful, but fuck me, it’s a dumb movie. A stupid person’s idea of a profound sci-fi parable, this has all the depth of a motivational quote wall sticker.