Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice ★★

I'm really disappointed Zack Snyder didn't put a giant cock on the Doomsday monster. Today Hollywood failed me.

Hack Snyder should be arrested for releasing this cut of the film to the world. I liked a lot of the elements but GOD DAMN do they not come together. Ben Affleck was an incredible Batman, give me a solo BenjiBat and IronsAlfred asap.

If the dream sequences look like a movie I'd rather be watching, you're doing something wrong (Mad Max Batman looked amazing). This movie felt like a 2 hour trailer. Not because of lack of content, but just because the editing was so inconsistent. They simply tried to do too many things. Superman Doomsday and Superman V Batman could have easily been 2 films and this kind of just glosses over both of them. The introduction of the Justice League was hack and Wonder Woman just kind of showed up.

Somehow Micheal Shannon is still uglier than the giant mutated abomination bear creature. (I know it's Doomsday settle down)

There's a subplot about Lois Lane trying to find the bullet that shot JFK or some shit. Batman and Superman stopped fighting because both their moms name is Martha? Whoever wrote this should be ashamed at that first draft material.

If you've ever read a panel of The Death of Superman you know they messed this shit up worse than Wolverine Origins. Speaking of origin stories if I have to see one more incarnation of the death of Bruce Waynes parents I'm going to jump off a bridge.

Strong Neil deGrasse Tyson cameo.

Maybe a Snyder 5 hour supercut would fix some of the issues but I have no desire to ever sit through this joyless slog again. Eons better than Man of Steel. Regardless if you like this or not it's the same tired superhero formula done differently but still badly.

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