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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★

    [to the tune of Phyllis Dillon’s version of ‘Perfidia’]


    To you,
    My heart cries out “Suspiriorum”

  • A Star Is Born

    A Star Is Born

    ★★★

    Me during the first half: “Oh holy shit, I’m gonna love this.”

    Me during the second half: “Oh that’s right, the title isn’t about a woman’s ascent, it’s just an ironic commentary on the male lead’s decline lmao damaged straight men are so boring”

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  • Passengers

    Passengers

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I haven't had time to write a full review of this as I only saw it not 12 hours ago, but I can't help but jot down something about Passengers' unpleasant undercurrent. Rewatching the trailers and marketing material, I couldn't believe how misleading they were about something very important to the film's core premise:

    Only Chris Pratt's Jim woke up early due to a malfunction on the ship. The first solid half hour is him moping about the Avalon starship,…

  • Red Sparrow

    Red Sparrow

    hey siri show me a straight teenage boy's jerkoff fantasy that's been directed like an over-budget Starz rip-off of The Americans where literally nothing that happens is important but they've made sure you get to see plenty of sideboob while its star is being tortured