• Hard Time: The Premonition

    Hard Time: The Premonition

    ★★½

    Burt and a bunch of older character actors (including, briefly, Paul Bartel!) bring their A-games to a basic-cable paycheck gig, and thus what should be a bloated episode of Silk Stalkings gains a strange level of gravity. Screenplay is still pretty stupid, though.

  • Things

    Things

    ★★★

    Does to cinema what Royal Trux's Twin Infinitives does to rock music: smashes it down to the foundation, then covers the rubble in blood and shit and substance abuse. Took about half the film, but I found my way onto its impossible wavelength, and to float along with it is pretty satisfying.

    Why do I feel like I'm gonna watch this a few more times, am I about to get Things-pilled

  • Kite

    Kite

    ★★

    So of its time I half-expected a deadmau5 cameo. Some of the action sequences are decent, but man... if there was ever a remake that failed to come up with a reason to exist....

  • Amityville Toybox

    Amityville Toybox

    ★★

    Starts out fairly promising, and I give it credit for being one of the very few latter-day Amityville things to take influence from Amityville II: The Possession. But while the build works, the release is a real blase wet fart, just a hangdog dude wandering around with a rifle shooting various characters so that most of the carnage can be offscreen/after-the-fact. Then, after it hits its natural endpoint, there's still somehow ten more minutes of footage tacked on that appears…

  • Righting Wrongs

    Righting Wrongs

    ★★★★½

    Relentless, exhausting and bleak as fuck... also, a really good time at the movies. Both things can be true!

  • Fear of Fiction

    Fear of Fiction

    Big fat no to this obnoxious, tic-ridden road dramedy filled with cheap quirk and cheaper drama.

  • Penda's Fen

    Penda's Fen

    ★★★★★

    Watched with commentary by James Machin and Matthew Hale.

  • Women's Prison

    Women's Prison

    ★★

    This claptrap doesn't deserve Ida Lupino.

  • Evil Clutch

    Evil Clutch

    ★★

    ...well, the effects were pretty good, anyway.

  • Nabonga

    Nabonga

    ★★

    "It's briefly interesting that erstwhile Tarzan Crabbe finds himself on the other side of the white-jungle-master equation this time, the macho Jane to Doreen's nature girl. It's also briefly interesting that Doreen is played, in her screen debut, by June London, looking her for all the world like a budget Jane Russell. (Everyone has to start somewhere.) The gorilla - named not Nabonga but Samson - gets shunted into the role of protector, a faux father figure replacing the scoundrel…

  • The Pledge

    The Pledge

    ★★

    look at my corpse / my corpse is amazing / give it a lick / mmm, it tastes just like pagan!

  • Sign of Aquarius

    Sign of Aquarius

    ★★★

    "They had to have known. Ghetto Freaks was shot and initially released under the title Sign of Aquarius, an obvious reference to the meteorically successful Hair - indeed, producer/co-writer John Pappas openly referenced Hair and Woodstock as key works that opened the door for his film when interviewed by the Cleveland Plain Dealer in January of 1970. He also name-drops Easy Rider, which given how Ghetto Freaks ends seems instructive in more than just proof of the youth box office.…