Les_Vampires’s review published on Letterboxd:
Ranking every element of Don Jon
His body: 9/10
I don't personally find JGL very attractive but can't deny he looks great in this movie.
His pad: 7/10
Not the best pad in the world, very generic but gotta give him lots of love for keeping it clean.
His ride: 10/10
Not a muscle car fan but gotta respect that is one sick motherfucking ride.
His family: 4/10
Any family that wastes Brie Larson as a bored teen who barely says anything is a bad family.
His church: 3/10
Not a cool church and I'm annoyed his entire relationship with church is confession. I get that's the point but a genuine attempt at churching woulda been nice.
His boys: 2/10
Two friends and both are the most generic shit heels who only talk about banging. Jesus just give each other handles and get new friends.
His girls: 5/10
No doubt attractive but clearly these are meat puppets for him to bang. ScarJo is okay but they really don't flesh her out.
His porn: 1/10
Seriously the worst porn taste in history. Nothing even remotely outside of the most fake and plasticy porn possible. A person who watches that much porn and has no unique tastes speaks volumes to a lack of creativity.
So that gives us a 5/10 which of course gets a final 6/10 because anything with Julianne Moore gets at least 1 point added.