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  • Ocean's 8

    Ocean's 8

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    this film makes me walk different

  • Ant-Man

    Ant-Man

    β˜…β˜…β˜…

    this is like that scene from night at the museum where all the tiny models including cowboy owen wilson and gladiator steve coogan fight and zoomed into their size the battle is as epic as the battle of schrute farms but in reality it’s completely silent and nothing’s happening because they’re the size of raisins. anyway I’ve tried twice before to watch this film and I couldn’t get into it but since the new one is coming out I wanted…

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  • Paddington

    Paddington

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    Paddington is sad?
    SADDINGTON.
    Paddington floods the house?
    BADDINGTON.
    Paddington loses his mind?
    MADDINGTON.
    Paddington starts a family?
    DADDINGTON.
    Paddington offers to buy the next round?
    ABSOLUTE LADDINGTON.
    Paddington but only a bit?
    JUST A TADDINGTON.
    Paddington replaces the current actor to play Olaf in a Frozen sequel?
    JOSH GADDINGTON.
    Paddington accidentally headbutts Emma Stone?
    SUPERBADDINGTON.
    Paddington does a flip on his pastel blue penny board in downtown Cali with the sound of the ocean breeze filling his ears as…

  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    this was fuckin INSANE but honestly I couldn’t stop thinking about kingsley describing this film as β€œevery marvel superhero coming together for a giant orgy and trying to stop this purple headed freak from stealing all six anal beads” the entire time and I don’t know if it lessened or heightened my experience but anyway WHAT THE FUCK