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  • True Grit

    True Grit

    ★★★★½

    This is less a review and more of a plea to Hollywood. After watching: True Grit, Hell or High Water, The Hateful Eight, and Bone Tomahawk, please make a western that is just two hours of Jeff Bridges and Kurt Russell being gritty at each other. It will be the greatest movie of all time. Here, I'll even start it out for you:

    Fade In

    Ext. A snowy mountain trail

    KURT RUSSELL
    If you would kindly move yourself out of…

  • In a Valley of Violence

    In a Valley of Violence

    ★★½

    2014 - John Wick: a former hitman goes on a murder spree after the son of a mob boss kills his dog

    2016 - A Valley of Violence: a former soldier goes on a murder spree after the son of a Marshal kills his dog

    2018 - Janus Vix: a former gladiator goes on a murder spree after the son of a senator kills his dog

    2020 - A Galaxy of Violence: a former space marine goes on a murder spree after the son of an underground spice merchant kills his space dog

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  • Captain America

    Captain America

    ½

    I give this movie credit for giving us the first mentally handicapped superhero in film history.

  • Who Killed Captain Alex?

    Who Killed Captain Alex?

    ½

    I can safely say this is the best Ugandan film I've ever seen.