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  • Don't Go In the Woods

    Don't Go In the Woods

    ★★★★★

    In which countless, random campers get bumped off by Stig of the Dump.

    Loads of blood; terrible dubbing; even worse dialogue; zero plot; a really, really odd but quite excellent score; a roller-skating backpacker, seen once and never again; a creepy VW passion-wagon with a woman with the longest and most monotonous scream ever; Craig the annoying Bear Grylls-a-like character; Peter the moronic hero; poor, poor Ingrid; people appearing from nowhere just to get killed; a sheriff who tries to…

  • Chappie

    Chappie

    ★★★½

    Examines ethics and morality developed via external sources (Mummy/Daddy/Creator) but pretty much ignores the concept of evolutionary ethics unless I missed the bit where they discussed Chappie's initial firmware including a basic ethical framework. Liked the commentary on drone warfare (a flying ED-209!) and the reliance on fallible human pilots. Die Antwoord were better than I thought they'd be. Shame about the Robocop-a-like script and Huge Ackman's seriously bad mullet.

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  • Hard Boiled

    Hard Boiled

    ★★★★

    From the opening scene of the rain covered, neon-lit streets of the city, superimposed over Chow Yun-Fat sweating, drinking a slammer and playing clarinet in a dark jazz club, we can see that this film matches its title perfectly. This is a Hard-Boiled police story in the grand tradition of Harry Callaghan, Popeye Doyle and Frank Bullitt. Everything is black and white, the hero does what needs to be done to save the day and if the brass at City…

  • August Underground

    August Underground

    ★★★½

    I know I've been absent for a few weeks but my wife has had another Multiple Sclerosis relapse and is due to go back into hospital for another course of treatment - it's the same chemotherapy as they give leukaemia patients. Plus I've had to do a load of construction/carpentry work on my daughters bedroom and other assorted shit. Anyway, I thought I should at least try to get back into the swing of things and what better than the…