Thirty minutes in I paused the film, walked upstairs, and tried to explain to my wife what I was watching. It was like I needed to stop and process it before I could go on. The only other time I remember having to do that was the first time I watched Celine and Julie Go Boating.
I will happily watch Hollywood Icon Humphrey Bogart in anything. I especially like movies that make it obvious he was 5' 8", 130 pounds, with really bad teeth because it makes his screen-filling charisma that much more impressive. But this is not a very good movie. At some point I began imagining every line being read by screenwriter Truman Capote, which would add some useful campiness to it all. Hanging out with Huston and this cast in Italy would've been a helluva lot of fun, though.
I worked a dozen shit retail jobs in my teens and 20s, and more than two decades later I still notice every "How Hiring" sign in every store and restaurant I enter. It's impossible to shake off that training -- of looking for the next, slightly better opportunity. I'm glad to have that in me, and I'm also glad I was eventually able to leave behind that hustle, because managers like Lisa are the hardest working people I've ever known.…
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I don't even know how to watch movies like this anymore. I assume this script is what happens when you decide to make a small character film that requires tens of millions of dollars' worth of special effects. I kept thinking about the Bruce Willis and Julia Roberts movie at the end of The Player.
I've come up with one scenario where this film isn't aggressively stupid. You know how the entire script is built around the idea that Sandra…