Thirty minutes in I paused the film, walked upstairs, and tried to explain to my wife what I was watching. It was like I needed to stop and process it before I could go on. The only other time I remember having to do that was the first time I watched Celine and Julie Go Boating.

I will happily watch Hollywood Icon Humphrey Bogart in anything. I especially like movies that make it obvious he was 5' 8", 130 pounds, with really bad teeth because it makes his screen-filling charisma that much more impressive. But this is not a very good movie. At some point I began imagining every line being read by screenwriter Truman Capote, which would add some useful campiness to it all. Hanging out with Huston and this cast in Italy would've been a helluva lot of fun, though.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.