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  • Gnomeo & Juliet

    Gnomeo & Juliet

    ½

    Not So Much a Good Guy...: My Quest to Watch Every Jason Statham Movie

    Statham Category: Comedy
    Statham Sub-Category: Animated
    Statham Sub-Category: Shit-Show
    How Prominent Is Jason Statham In It?: Minor Antagonist

    When talking about notable Oscar snubs, people often mention Saving Private Ryan losing to Shakespeare in Love in 1999. I don't think it counts as a snub, though, because, and follow me here, Shakespeare in Love is fucking GOOD. The script moves at an insane speed, bouncing around…

  • Godzilla 2000: Millennium

    Godzilla 2000: Millennium

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I would have given it an extra half star if he blasted the guy at the end

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  • The Cobbler

    The Cobbler

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I watched this movie solely (no pun intended) to find out what the ridiculous plot twist at the end was. I'm posting it here for posterity.

    I've included some "important" plot details, because jumping straight to the twist would be incomprehensible.

    - In the early 1900s, a group of Yiddish shop-owners gather to discuss their plan to deal with a local businessman who is forcing them out. They give his shoes to the local cobbler, who re-soles them using a…

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road

    ★★★★★

    You can tell the Citadel is a top-notch society because they have their priorities in order:

    1. Metal guitarist constantly shredding during battle
    2. Everything else