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  • The Running Man

    The Running Man

    ★★★★★

    Isn't it cute how a dystopia immediately falls with one instance of video evidence of government malfeasance? How naive we were!

  • The Hidden Fortress

    The Hidden Fortress

    ★★★★½

    Unexpectedly laugh-out-loud funny! The Star Wars connection is really just that it's from the point of view of two servants and they gotta protect/escort/save a princess, but 3PO and R2 never tried to rape Leia for laughs. Old movies are wild man

    There's a scene where Matashichi and Tahei are trying to get up a steep incline that's somehow funny and tense, as rocks slipping under your foot on an incline that you'd judged just that bit too lowly are…

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  • Over the Hedge

    Over the Hedge

    ★★★

    Honestly a pretty adequate funny animal movie.

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    ★★★★

    I love that this isn't a serious take on the material (would one even be possible?) but rather one where a random dude tells our hero his DRAGON BIRTHMARK compels him to drive to Gary, Indiana which he does with zero hesitation after an attack by the worst assassin ever.

    Then Raiden puts the home alarm on cuz none of his fighters have unlocked their ARCANA yet which makes them USELESS and Shang Tsung would rather kill them before any…