A good scream.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Leaden and charmless, doubling down on its predecessors' least successful elements: the underwhelming, busily staged action and Gunn's penchant for overbearing sentimentality.
Definitely felt every last minute of that runtime, but thankfully the stuff about animal cruelty really brought the house down!
Almost has as many endings as Return of the King, one of them is virtually the exact same climax as other entries in this tired string of MCU-episodes have had. Another, I regret to inform you is a dance-off to Florence and the Machine.
If this film came out in 2002, it would be called M.I.L.F. Squad, with M.I.L.F. being an acronym for Marauding International Lethal Females. The soundtrack would feature Gwen Stefani, Missy Elliott and Crazy Town's seminal hit Butterfly.
Roger Ebert gives it a phoned-in 2 star-review where he decries 'the lack of a good story' but compares it favorably to Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. A suggestive PG-13 shower scene set to Fun Lovin' Criminals' Love Unlimited fails to crack Mr. Skin's…