• Freaky

    Freaky

    OCTOBER HORROR #9

    Freaky has a core concept that's easy to brush off as trite, but thanks to some solid comedic writing, acting, and directing, the whole thing becomes a shockingly complete package that delivers on both the laughs and the gore. There's some genuinely laugh out loud funny scenes here and I really regret not seeing it in a theater. It's the sort of movie made for a crowd.

  • Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

    Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

    OCTOBER HORROR #8

    My Halloween festivities were kept to a minimum this year due to an aforementioned, and this is from a doctor's note, "lack of holiday vibes", but luckily I know people who are much more festive than I am. So I went to my friend's Halloween party and since this guy is a horror and Halloween savant, it was predictably fantastic. Pumpkins were there to be carved, a VHS station playing old movies was constantly running and weed…

  • The Old Dark House

    The Old Dark House

    OCTOBER HORROR #7

    "Fine stuff, but it'll rot.
    Finer stuff still, but it'll rot too."

    The ACTUAL last movie I watched in my childhood home. Halfway through House on Haunted Hill I felt the need for one last send-off movie and this was the only one that came to mind.

    To me this movie oozes comfort. The candlelit crypt of a mansion feels snug when contrasted against the almost soothing droning hum of silver age rain mixed with the howl…

  • House on Haunted Hill

    House on Haunted Hill

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    OCTOBER HORROR #6

    I've spent this last week staying in my childhood home. It's my last week here ever actually, since my parents are selling it. So I came up to Washington to clear out all my belongings, picking out what I would keep, what would go in storage, and what could be given up entirely. The whole process has been almost pathetically emotional for me. Every casual action I do in here has the surreal weight of being the…

  • Death Ship

    Death Ship

    October Horror #5

    Turns out the movie about the haunted anti-Semitic boat is actually pretty boring.

  • Young Frankenstein

    Young Frankenstein

    OCTOBER HORROR #4

    I've seen this movie plenty of times, but it never quite clicked with me. This time though I think it finally did. It's hard not to admire the loving recreation of silver age monster movies on display here, with plenty of endearing little bits that I couldn't help but chuckle at. Gene Wilder is a phenomenal comic actor too, it's always a treat to watch him do his thing.

  • Halloween Kills

    Halloween Kills

    OCTOBER HORROR #3

    On Halloween night a Jewish man is hunted through the streets of a small Midwestern town by a raving mob of "Jews Will Not Replace Us" MAGA gentiles. Watch as Michael Meyerowitz valiantly and ruthlessly fights to overcome this depraved pogrom.

  • Angel

    Angel

    OCTOBER HORROR #1

    I'm a horrible liar. I recently wrote a review for Dave Made a Maze where I said that was my first horror movie of the month, but I now realize that I completely forgot to review Angel which is my ACTUAL first horror movie of the month. To be frank, this oversight is detrimental to my credibility as someone who talks about movies and if you feel you can no longer take me or my opinions at…

  • Dave Made a Maze

    Dave Made a Maze

    OCTOBER HORROR 2021 #2

    Halloween is my favorite season, but for some reason I just haven't been feeling it this year. This is probably due in large part to the numerous life changes I've had happen in the past month. It's the sort of time when sitting down to watch a movie is just the furthest thing from your mind. In fact I've had a hard time recently watching a movie in anything other than the hyper-focused setting of a…

  • Clown

    Clown

    Water is wet, the sky is blue, and Peter Stormare bodies any role he's given.

  • Koshien: Japan's Field of Dreams

    Koshien: Japan's Field of Dreams

    "I just want to chase that ball. It's all I need in life."

    In the past year I've come to embrace my early twenties by doing what just about any self-loathing twenty-three year old would do: Stay up till 4 am doing essentially nothing. Eventually a few friends and I, all stricken with the same existentialism induced insomnia, took to watching Japanese baseball games since, for us Americans, Nippon Professional Baseball games air at the prime time slot of 2:00…

  • Malignant

    Malignant

    The most 2000's movie to come out in quite some time. It's giallo by way of Saw, a marriage of the strong primary colors and surreal thriller beats that characterized the genre combined with the grime and overbearing editing of early 2000's horror, complete with the main musical motif in the film being an electro-rock instrumental cover of the Pixie's "Where is My Mind?". And it's just so rad. The third act is a total delight with a twist that heightens the experience. James Wan goes deep into his bag of tricks for this film and pulls out one of his most enjoyable films yet.