2001: A Space Odyssey ★★★★★

Imagine seeing this in cinemas when it first came out. you get hit with the most distressingly epic opening shot of all time and then there's absolutely no dialogue at all for the first half hour, 23 minutes of which are apes wobbling around and inventing mob mentality. you (presumably) have no idea what the run time is. you keep trying to figure out the plot but you can't pin it down because you don't already know what the plot is, and you don't have the simpsons and wall-e as background reference. the discovery ship doesn't look like the death star because the death star doesn't exist yet. you can't pause to pour yourself a whiskey (or two) that end up hitting sooo perfectly when you get to that psychedelic trip there at the end. you walk out of that room without a mind because you lost it somewhere along the way. you write a probably incoherent review online because you're whiskey-happy, now.
stanley really was a madlad for this one, god damn.

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