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  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    ★★★★★

    As time marches on, fewer and fewer of us remember what life was like before the internet. Those of us who were around back then can attest to the fact that American life was quite a bit more slow-paced. There was still media bombardment, in albeit a subtler way, but one could avoid cultural desensitization and the resultant ennui much more easily if they wished. I suppose one of the biggest differences was that people were naturally a little more…

  • Come to Daddy

    Come to Daddy

    ★★★

    After hitting the big time playing Frodo in Peter Jackson’s seminal Lord of the Rings trilogy, most will have only caught Elijah Wood playing bit parts in movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Sin City since then. He’s had the fortune of cashing in big on acting early in life and moving into production (Mandy, The Greasy Strangler) while raising the profile of smaller, indie productions (Maniac, I Don’t Feel at Home in this World Anymore). Mr.…

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  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Beloved character Nude Scaramanga has returned for another entry in J.K. Rowling’s distended cinematic universe as Doctor Who-ry Potter in Blandtastic Queefs: Donaldtrump Grumblekin’s Series of Plantagenet Misdeeds. In this dreck-citing shit-eration of the lucrative franchise, Johnny Depp does his best impression of David Bowie humanizing Hitler while Eddie Redmayne, crippled by social anxiety disorder, bumbles about, mumbling, stumbling upon fantastical CG creatures while people either murder babies or reminisce about babies dying. There is a lot of child death…

  • Annihilation

    Annihilation

    ★★½

    In the ever increasingly difficult task of keeping science fiction fresh there are bound to be a few casualties. I did not expect director Alex Garland would disappoint with his follow up to 2014's Ex Machina, but Annihilation is the very definition of a sophomore slump. Much like another audacious but vacuous sci-fi outing, Inception, the film boasts dazzling visuals in service to a thin plot that's lacking any semblance of an emotional core. A cool concept is squandered in…