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  • The Greatest Showman

    The Greatest Showman

    ★★★★½

    “This is my daughter, she wants to be a ballerina, but feels out place around her peers because of her family.”
    “Cool Hugh Jackman, that’s a good subplot.”
    “Thank you, I know.”
    “Who’s that? Your other daughter?”
    “Yeah she’s just kinda goofy I guess.”
    “Does she have a subplot?”
    “She wants to marry Santa.”

  • We're the Millers

    We're the Millers

    Why does Will Poulter’s face look like
    📉📈
    👁👁
      👄

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  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★½

    Benny Safdie’s aesthetic is dumping out bags of money onto counters and the line “All of it, cash all of it”

  • The Fox and the Hound

    The Fox and the Hound

    ★★★★

    Me: I’m a rational person with serious opinions, and I rate movies primarily based on the director’s technique and the finer, objective points, only leaving some room for my emotional opinion

    Also me: The doggy did somersaults and his face got smushy