Assassin's Creed ★★

It takes some effort to make a time-travel sci-fi about killer parkour enthusiasts so dull as they’ve done with Assassin’s Creed. The film fails stupendously in its primary task of conveying the game series’ key wall-scaling, roof-hopping mechanic by rendering those scenes, few as they are, with smooth, sweeping camera angles absent any sense of kinetic thrill to the movement. It’s a failure, too, in its secondary task of adapting the plot (as convoluted as it's grown from game to game) into a 100-minute movie, such that the poorly paced info-dumps it lumbers on its obviously nonplussed heavyweight cast are no doubt impenetrable to anyone not already familiar with the franchise. To be fair, though, even to anyone else, the story is at once too simplistic and completely nonsensical.

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