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  • Three Men and a Little Lady

    Three Men and a Little Lady

    ★½

    Not that I expected it to, but this childhood staple does not hold up (though peak post-Magnum Tom Selleck does, me-ow). HUGE disappointment coming from the director of noted masterpiece “Dirty Dancing.”

  • The Slumber Party Massacre

    The Slumber Party Massacre

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Reader, I cackled when she machete'd his drill-dick clean off.

    Also, though getting-ready-in-the-morning (or after gym class or whatever) sequences are clichéd, over time they turn into documentaries.

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  • Elle

    Elle

    ★★★★★

    Elle is a Christmas movie.

  • Eraserhead

    Eraserhead

    ★★★★½

    The next time any one of my relatives gets on my case about me not wanting children or my disinterest in monogamy, they'll be getting a blow-by-blow description of Eraserhead.