Commando ★★★★

All together on three now, OK?

One...two...three - "I can't believe this macho bullshit!"

It's impossible not to have anything but fun with Commando, arguably one of Arnie's best films. As the titular commando, John Matrix, he has just eleven hours to rescue his daughter from kidnappers. Being against the clock, the film doesn't have time for little things like plot or character development and so it concentrates instead on just blowing tons of shit up! Like Arnie, Commando has no extraneous fat whatsoever; it's just a rattling good movie that moves at a fair lick across its ninety minute runtime, bouyed by James Horner's adrenalin-pumping score and an eminently quotable script by Steven E. de Souza.

And in Vernon Wells' Bennett we have not only one of the most lip smackingly OTT villains in the history of action cinema, but also the gayest. I know that we all could write pages about whether he really wants to kill Matrix, or fuck him!

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