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  • Louder Than Bombs

    Louder Than Bombs

    ★★★★

    So there's this one moment in the film where Jessie Eisenberg and a former girlfriend are discussing his deceased mother and he says something like this:

    "Yeah, she was just, the most incredible woman, one of the great photographers, that's what they said. Such an amazing person."

    The girlfriend responds:

    "Yeah, I know, you talked about her all the time."

    "Oh, did I?"

    "Yeah."

    "Did she meet your expectations? When you met her."

    "Yeah"

    (pause)

    "Yeah, 'but'..."

    "But she seemed...I…

  • The Revenant

    The Revenant

    annnnnnnnnndddddddd cue bear rape joke.

    "The Revenant" is garbage. I'm just gonna throw that out there first. This is a bad movie, no caveats. It is overlong. It is boring. It is unintentionally hilarious, but not enough so to be enjoyable. It is pretentious. It is horrifyingly apathetic in its violence. It is grossly cartoonish. It is masturbatory filmmaking. It is soulless. I did not like it.

    After labeling last year's "Birdman" as nothing short than the bane of my…