Marmaduke has written 60 reviews for films during 2021.

  • Deadpool

    Deadpool

    Imagine trying to do funny fourth wall breaks when it's common knowledge that Marmaduke did it perfectly.

    What's the point in trying, perfection has already been achieved. Sometimes I think that about cinema sometimes, Marmaduke was the peak, what's the point in it anymore.

    This film isn't good because there is no funny Hot Cheese moment. If Deadpool copied that scene shot for shot, it would be plagiarism but at least they would be stealing from the best.

  • Casino Royale

    Casino Royale

    Gamers!

    This is probably the most serious review I'll write for this account but I have to say this.

    Casino Royale '67 should be a meme film and should be more well known. It had five directors, nearly double that number in screenwriters. It is one of the most baffling and inexplicable films I have seen.

    Orson Welles plays a Bond villain who does magic. He's playing poker one minute and then he fucking makes somebody levitate. It's pretty amazing.…

  • Un Chien Andalou

    Un Chien Andalou

    But if her eye has been sliced open, that means she cannot watch Marmaduke!

    Who knew that surrealism could haunt me so much, a life without Marmaduke. If that were me, I would be inconsolable.

    This matter has made me weary, I need to go lie down!

  • The Big Lebowski

    The Big Lebowski

    "Man, this copy of dual-format Marmaduke really ties the room together"

    Me while staring at my most prized possession, Dual-format Marmaduke with an out-of-date download code and amazing bonus features like "Marmaduke Mayhem! Gag Reel", and "Cowabarka: More Surfing Dog Fun."

  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    Cannot believe that this is the film from 2010 that's got a cinematic re-release.

    The greatest film ever made is just sitting there, waiting for a 4K restoration, but instead, Hollywood is wheeling out Shit Pilgrim again. The Duke needs to be seen on the big screen. The big screen is the only thing that can capture the enormity of The Duke's body. Anything else is like watching 'Inland Empire' on a telephone. Get Real!

    Plus, what's with this "vs.…

  • Nine Lives

    Nine Lives

    They don't make films like this anymore!

    Thank you Nine Lives for daring to experiment in an increasingly safe industry.

    We need more films like you, that touch the human spirit.

    Amen!

  • Mean Girls

    Mean Girls

    I can't believe that Hollywood thought they could make Marmaduke but with people instead of dogs, and think nobody would notice.

    The funny thing is that they got away with it.

    I hate the general movie public for not boycotting this film as I have.

    If you like this film, you support artistic bankruptcy!

    #BoycottMeanGirls

  • FRED: The Movie

    FRED: The Movie

    Cinema peaked in 2010. It's just a fact. There was something in the air that year. Something that got creative juices flowing.

    2010: The Year Cinema Peaked!

  • Nomadland

    Nomadland

    It was my least favourite of the nominees but it won me a Garfield Plush.

    So, I have come to terms with Nomadland.

  • A Hard Day's Night

    A Hard Day's Night

    Why doesn't Pitbull get his own movie, Imagine it, Mr. Worldwide starring in his own feature-length movie. It would be the greatest thing ever. Maybe The Duke can cameo. Oh jeez, that would be swell.

    Yet, Pitbull doesn't have a movie, but, The Beetles have multiple.

    Let's compare lyrical complexity.

    the Beagles
    Why don't we do it in the road?
    Why don't we do it in the road?
    Why don't we do it in the road?
    Why don't we do…

  • Satantango

    Satantango

    You could watch Marmaduke nearly five times during the runtime of this movie.

    You know what I would do!



    (This review has been rated 'Kino Funny' by the Rupert Pupkin Board of Comedic Excellence for pointing out that Satantango is a long movie. Since nobody has ever joked about Satantango's length before, the board sees it fit to give this review the award. Good show!)

  • Godzilla vs. Kong

    Godzilla vs. Kong

    What's the point in this film, we already know who would win!

    Obviously, the BIG DAWG would wipe the floor with these nerds.
    Can Godzilla shred?
    Fuck no!

    Why is the Duke not in this film?

    Are they scared?
    Are they keeping him for the sequel?

    I just want to see The Duke crush these nerds like he crushed Bosco's totalitarian leadership at the High School for Dogs.

    Is that so much to ask for?