Cannibal Holocaust

Cannibal Holocaust ★★★★★

Yeah I didn't watch this again, however!! I was up last night until like four stressing over the consequences of denouncing Stephen King 'publicly' (like anyone reads my reviews or cares what I think anyway, right) and reading the part in Judy Blume's Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing where Peter's little brother, Fudge, swallows Peter's pet turtle. His mom is all freaking out and calling 911 and I'm like wait don't people eat turtles all the time? And then I thought about this movie and subsequently couldn't sleep for another hour and a half.

Anyway this is also a blatant ploy to remind people I am SERIOUS about horror and am totally cool with meaningful and artistic sexual assault in horror films. I often take out this movie when someone is like yelling at me for not liking vag sawing movies for approximately three hours.

I was talking about cool girl tests in horror the other day and I think CH is like the MEGA cool girl test. I also don't like Joe Bob Briggs and I am never going to watch his show. There! I said it. I feel so much better.

You know, there are times I worry I just can't stand the idea of people thinking I'm cool as a code for 'not like the rest of em' NO! They must be made aware I am against their weird cliqueish bullshit so they can withhold opportunities and support! It's my brilliant plan to avoid actually succeeding forever look I just don't like playing games! I am far too genuine and principled a person.

Plus, I'm no longer under the delusion horror reviews might lead to a paying gig. Five years and only one offer to be exploited for free for 'exposure.' Which sounds very much like I'm about to be flashed in the park. And then not paid.

I've also come to realize the only way I could leverage my cool girl movie status into readers is if my books contained slasher movie levels of nudity and violence but I don't write that kinda stuff...

Continuing to accept these horror dude bro followers is starting to feel like I am sending friendly DMs back to someone I vaguely know and they are expecting me to be impressed with their boyfriend potential and start flirting and I'm too terrified of what they'll do if they decide I'm stringing them along to be like 'uhhh i just don't believe in putting TAKEN or wifey or mommy (even if I had kids, I wouldn't) in what I consider to be a semi professional bio but I totally am taken and you wouldn't be on the list of possible replacements anyway, sooo' instead, my brilliant plan is to CONTINUE stringing them along with non committal friendly chit chat.


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